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The gratuitous kicking administered to Kylie’s 'X' album by the critics has made me want to start shrieking like that hysterical little chap who recently stuck up for his idol Britney on a video blog. She had cancer! She’s been through a tough time! She comes back with a well-produced album that couldn’t be more Kylie if it sashayed out of your stereo in a pair of golden micro-hotpants singing “lucky lucky lucky”. What were you expecting? In fucking Rainbows? You don’t deserve her you bastards!
For the record, X is a sparkling pop album that will wow her fans no matter what the music press has to say. As one might expect Electroclash and Madonna figure heavily, but there are a few surprises too. ‘Sensualized’ for instance bravely samples Serge Gainsbourg’s perfect ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ and only depreciates it slightly, while ‘Speakerphone’ sounds so inventive production-wise that were music fans told Daft Punk were responsible, they would no doubt swiftly disappear into cubicles for some unhealthy self-abuse.
Minogue’s Madge obsession is realised here more than ever before with no less than three tracks, mimicking Mrs Ritchie just stopping short of the Dick Van Dyke impression. ‘Wow’ borrows wholesale from ‘Holiday’ and the results are spectacular, while ‘In My Arms’ sounds like Ciccone in her youth; which is fine as Madonna hasn’t made a Madonna record for a decade.
There is filler here yes, (‘Heartbeat’, ‘The One’) and ‘Nu-di-ty’ probably gets a bit too Rudebox for those critics who don’t enjoy mainstream popstars getting above their stations, but tracks like the sublime ‘Stars’ and the first single ‘Two Hearts’ will ensure this is one of Kylie’s more fondly cherished albums. Those writers who set out to attack in order to prove their ruthlessness and make a name for themselves should hang their heads in shame.