Playlouder - Music is the Network

Bullet For My Valentine: Scream Aim Fire (Sony BMG)

"Over the top! Over the top!" Yell the Welsh metalcore massive, on this surprisingly trad-metal comeback, which, on the surface of things, seems to be a celebration of shooting people. OTT is certainly the way they're going, anyway, so here's hoping they have some fun before they get shot down in flames. 

Buy it for your rebellious daughter. 

Laura Marling: Ghosts (Virgin)

Polished twee folk pop, in this instance, not half as offputting as that may sound. About a quarter, though. Maybe two fifths... 

Buy it for your boring girlfriend. 

Morrissey: That’s How People Grow Up (Polydor/Decca)

Woah, Steven! You were in danger of sounding like Rammstein for a moment there. Fortunately, your ever-present vulnerable self-satisfied warble is... unchanged. "I was driving my car / and I crashed and broke my spine / so yes there are things worse in life / than never being someones sweetie." Yeah, but, there needs no ghost come from the grave to tell us this. 

Buy it for your nerdy friend who eats Linda McCartney readymeals and rarely goes out. 

Operahouse: Born A Boy (Marrakesh Records)

Unambitious Undertones homage with twiddly guitar bits. The Sun says: "A bit Bloc Party and even has Razorlight bits." Whatever scuttles your ship, I suppose. 

Buy it for most young male music fans. 

Robert Plant and Alison Krauss: Please Read The Letter (Rounder/Decca)

Languid, unnecessary and dull. More soul could be packed into a text message.

Buy it for your roadie grandad. 

Scanners: Lowlife (DimMak/Influx)

A pleasant postpunkpop (but definitely not postpoppunk) single you may be pretty sure you already have lurking in your charity shop 45s, but for the stellar voice of lead singer Sarah Somethingorother. Rarely is such a miserable chorus sung with such gutsy conviction. Sort of like Siouxie Sioux, except I don't want to punch her. 

Buy it for your asymmetrically-fringed graphic designer friend. 

Tina Dico: Sacre Coeur (Radio Edit) (Finest Gramophone)

What's going on with your voice Tina? Were you eating Wotsits in the studio again? Who knows. Oh, you're Danish? Oh, sorry. Suppose that makes me racist. Anyway, this has ubiquitous crap ballad written all over it. Except, presumably, on the irritating stickers that quote reviews from The Mail and cite her Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen influences (yep, those dudes have a lot to answer for). 

Buy it for the dead mother you never loved.