Playlouder - Music is the Network

Two of the world’s biggest record labels have today denied reaching an agreement on a deal with Qtrax, the Bulgarian dark lord of ear infections.

Shortly following the ritual scarifice of second-album flops and pitch-feathered hens at the grand summoning last Tuesday, Qtrax claimed that he would offer a new free file-sharing service which would have the support of the Four Major Record Labels.

As a money-making scheme, the service would harvest the souls of users, (by tricking them into purchasing worthless musical bilge), and later rent them out to Japanese businessmen as sex toys.

The Warner Music Group, owner of Kid Rock's soul (what's left of it), and Universal Records, owner of Bodyrockers (whatever they are) both denied signing the infernal one's contract.

Grand Wizard, Allan Klepfisz, responsible for summoning Qtrax, suggested feeding the pesky demon unsold Robbie Williams CDs to quench his thirst. 

The suggestion met with resounding indifference.