Playlouder - Music is the Network

Hi guys,

A quick one as I have to leave the country for reasons that are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

This just in from our newest client, Bogwoppit:

Deer, deer fans,

It is with considerable style that I forthwith pervert your blinded Outlook on a subject very close to my own love muscle. This being: my debut album. My Magnum opus. My Geronima. My Hiroshima. My La Biblé.

Allow me to introduce myself to you; I am Herr Porf. Bogwoppit War-Machine “Terminal 2” Bambury-Von Wilkinson-Sword PG Dip PG Cert BA MA MPhil TEFL.

You can call me Bogwoppit, though it is not my “real” name.

Anyway, I am releasing this upon you because this time last year my debut album was stole from me by one called “thesvenhunter” and toted about various record labels, finally finding a home with A Mr One Million Houses at a newly-formed Brixton-based label called Dental Records.

Thesvenhunter, on the strength of my debut album, was the first and last signing to Dental Records, as the company soon collapsed under the pressure of a law suit from a Swedish label, which had an existing claim to the name. Mr “Houses” has not been since, and thesvenhunter spent his entire advance on a ham-fisted attempt to self-release his album (my album) on his own fledgling label, Priapic Records.

It fell through. I had the lawyers bust his crack den in Clapton on the morning of his scheduled debut gig on December 1st 2007. He escaped over fields, but the mp3 files were retrieved.

I have literally been sitting on them ever since, apart from when at work in the sausage factory. (And 'd just like to point out at this juncture that there is nothing, absolutely nothing amusing about working in a sausage factory. And I'm heterosexual. And yes, I do have a “thing” against gays, but only if they're near me.)

There's just one slight problem. The album I recorded was five tracks long. The album I have now is 22 tracks long. Two are duplicates or “alternate versions”. I am assuming these two are two of the originals. But, with these recordings, as with all of the others, I can not for the life of me discern the difference between my songs and his. You have no idea how much this sucks. His combination of the expert ability to emulate any other artist's work (that comes from his Polish side), and his inability to produce anything of artistic worth on his own steam, meant that he had to commit the ultimate crime, and the sincerest form of flattery: imitation.

As such I am forced to announce the impending release of my album (on my own label, BW-M“T2”B-VW-SPG Dip PG Cert BA MA MPhil TEFL Records), which will retain its original title, 'Bogwoppit's Sexual Frustration' ' (Not 'Soggy Globsters on the Beach of Dreams' – that's a stupid title), however, due to the necessary inclusion of the “fakes”, the full title will be as follows:

'Bogwoppit's Sexual Frustration (And Thesvenhunter's Callous Aping Thereof) – Bowoppit feat. (Regrettably) Thesvenhunter.

We plan to produce, at first, ten of the above, and “Hae kens whence frae thence? (As the Scotchmen say!)

More to follow...

Keep it boggy!

(That's... that's a thing I'm trying. If you... if you like it?)

Yours in case,

Bogwoppit &c.

ENDS

Notes to Editors:

Bogwoppit is a trademark infringement. Any attempts to pursue legal action against Bogwoppit should not incriminate the promotions people e.g. me.

Promosforhomos is a non-profit organisation, despite continued efforts. There are no Swiss bank accounts. There is no address. There are no overheads. There was no intern. That was not a television I threw out the window.

Thesvenhunter has a lot of questions to answer.